"Help Yo Brother"

Most of the taxis and minibuses here on Dominica have names at the top of the windshield. Some of the names are funny, like "Flash de Bobs", some are rather sweet like "Humble African". But I saw a new one today: "Help Yo Brother".

And that is exactly what we need to do right now.

Please, if you are on the island and are able to give blood, go to Princess Margaret and donate a pint for my friend Mr. Rasta. He has been having increased bleeding from his tumor and has already had two units, but he needs more. If you call Life Goes On (449-8593) they will give you his proper name so that you can tell the blood bank who you are donating to help. PMH accepts donations in the early am hours.

Mr. Rasta would be very grateful for your help, and I am sure he would like to meet you if you donate for him. We discussed today me asking you to come donate for him, and he was glad to have anyone know he is in the hospital who is willing to help.

I am sprung from sturdy peasant stock, so I gave my pint yesterday with no difficulty. Mr. Wizard, however, has some lurking aristocracy in his background and was flatly refused. He has a wee little thing with his heart that people fuss over. Humpf. Sounds like an excuse, doesn't it?

It is the tradition here for family to provide food and linens for hospitalized patients, as well as all of the little things a Big World hospital automatically provides. The Wiz and I are trying to fill the gap since our buddy doesn't have much help.

So I have been cooking vegetarian food of questionable quality, doing laundry for our friend, etc. Here, more than anywhere I have ever lived, the village really cares for a person. When those social supports are lost the effect is devastating. This is a much more interdependent world than where I lived in up North. Even my marginal vegetarian cuisine is appreciated.

I do hope some of you will give a very special gift this holiday, and go give blood for Mr. Rasta.

livingdominica: One Love. One People.
or "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers..."
whatever truth speaks to you.

Mr. Rasta

I am heartsick today because I am seeing a dramatic increase in the size of Mr. Rasta's tumor in the last 10 days. I have been haunted by how much it grew from Thursday to Monday.

The good news is that a North American organization is planning to underwrite hospital care for him in Barbados. But another possibility appeared yesterday with a Parisian ENT visiting the island saying he might be able to provide the necessary intervention here. This would allow us to care for Mr. R here during his convalescence, rather than have him go through this on his own off island. I am hoping this works out. But either way, help is on the horizon.

Mr. R is gentle person who rarely asks for anything, but he does more than anything want and need his tumor removed. The enormity of this tumor is mind boggling. It reaches from his chin to the nape of his neck, and extends from his ear to his shoulder. The smell of it keeps him isolated in his little shack. And I see that it is bigger each time I change the dressing. (By the way, someone donated dressings, so yesterday we had proper supplies for the dressing change. Thank you!)

livingdominica: Yesterday Mr. R touched his heart and said, "Thank you for everything you do for me." He meant that for you, too.

Here is the "Life Goes On" Washing Machine

Here is the washing machine some very generous readers of this blog bought for the Life Goes On house. Brand new and ready to make life easier for some ill people and their caregivers. Thank you so much for reaching out to the people suffering with HIV/AIDS on this island. A lot of people will benefit from your generosity. Bless you!



This is where Life Goes On is housed. It is a drop in center for the Life Goes On community, the office is housed here, and sometimes the staff stay here also. Unfortunately, a person who had loaned beds to the house has come to claim them. So the staff are sleeping on the floor. If you have beds to loan or donate, (or you know how to make them!) please call 767-449-8593.

The Life Goes On house is a little haven for people living with HIV and their caregivers who may be shunned in their own communities. It is a place of support and acceptance where both body and spirit are nourished. I can only imagine what it must feel like to have this welcoming spot full of caring people when isolation and fear are ever present. And now laundry can be brought here, too!

Today when I visited Mr. Rasta at the house, another member of Life Goes On was getting a haircut by a volunteer. He looked so improved after the haircut, I told Mr. Wizard he should get in the queue...

Mr. Rasta was feeling good today because he took a shower at the house. He does not have running water at home, so he was delighted to get to shower. Normally, he keeps himself very clean, but with sponge baths. He said the shower felt wonderful. The plan is for him to use the shower whenever he visits the house, and for me to change his dressing afterward. For this gentle person who is ostracized in his community, it felt wonderful to him, just being invited to do a simple things like have a shower. I took a picture of him today, with his permission. He even smiled. So often I see him with tears in his eyes, to see him smile was a real gift to me.

livingdominica: Thank you again for the support you readers are providing to this very necessary project.

We could use some more help, if you can...

If you are coming to the island and can bring some dressing supplies, I would be so grateful, and so would Mr. Rasta. I am bummed out. I cannot find large guaze pads like ABDs on the island. And dressing supplies are incredibly expensive here. I paid $62 dollars for a box of 4X4s today. We have tried all sorts of alternative dressings to cover his huge tumor: pampers, large incontinent pads. It is not working well. His tumor's area is about 8X14. Large gauze pads, 4X4s, surgical tape and Kerlix wraps are particularly needed. If you have other ideas for a make do dressing of this size, let me know. I am out of ideas.

Sometimes the clinic nurses are able to give him dressings, sometimes they just don't have them to give. We are trying to help fill the gap.

I made a horrible mess today trying to change his dressing using makeshift materials. Now, I am a messy nurse anyway, so if a big mess is possible, I am just the old nurse who will create it. You should see some of the floods I created with a dialysis machine... But never mind. I felt bad for both of us today.

I have been thinking about making reusable dressings from thick quilted cloth diapers. We could wash them now, since you generous, kind blog readers have made the washing machine happen at the Life Goes On house. I saw it today! Brand new and shiny. I am so thrilled.

In addition to the dressing materials needed down here at the Life Goes On house, we could also use linens. Used linens will really help. If you can help, contact me for an address where you can send some supplies. Or if you are coming to the island, please bring some down if you have access. Or if you have friends who can help...

I remember all the incredible waste in the hospitals I worked in. We would throw out dressings just because they had already been in a patients room and the patient was transfered! Operating Rooms and Cardiac Cath Labs throw out stacks of dressings left over from a case. Please, if you are in a position to scavenge some dressings send them on down. Or if you can bring them down when you visit, I can offer you a cup of coffee and a warm welcome.

livingdominica: I hope some other old nurses out there will email me with creative dressing ideas.

Rumors, Pilgrims, and Saints

We heard a rumor yesterday, and it was about us. Dominica is a gossipy little place, like a small town, so I would like to clarify something for the record. We have not received money from the government for Wit's End, nor have we requested any monetary compensation. We have requested to have our land replaced with a piece of similar size and amenities. So if you hear how "the government is going to give them a lot of money", please correct the rumor. We don't even want money. We just want to have a place to put a house and have an organic farm like we intended up at Byack. Besides, nothing could compensate for the heartache this situation has caused. We just want to get on with life.

I did hear a funny story from our neighbor up by Wit's End. Some tourists came up and asked for him by name after reading the blog. After hearing this, I wonder if I should promote Wit's End as a pilgrimage spot? We could build a little shrine and ask for donations. Or turn my shack into the shrine! (I would be more likely to get rich from this than from asking the government for money, I think.) There must be a patron saint for landslides...

By the way, a saintly person has responded to the request for a washing machine for Life Goes On and has offered to make a generous donation toward the purchase. I am so touched and excited by this gift. Not only will this gift help Mr. Rasta, but many others in the future will benefit also. Illness always means a lot of laundry, in my experience.

livingdominica: just hoping for some land so we can build our house and garden...

Thoughts on Suffering

I met with Mr. Rasta again yesterday, and things are getting worse for this poor man. He is very frustrated because his tumor is growing much bigger and the doctors here have said they cannot surgically intervene because of bleeding risks. As his tumor grows, he is becoming more isolated in his community. "People are afraid." Tears flow as he tells me about sitting alone in his poverty, hoping that a solution will appear.

I listen to him and try to communicate the acceptance and caring he needs as much as he needs food and medical attention. I give him a few things and agree to meet him next week at the Life Goes On house. Not much help. I feel pretty lame.

The Life Goes On house is a little haven for people living with HIV and their caregivers who may be shunned in their own communities. It is a place of support and acceptance where both body and spirit are nourished. I can only imagine what it must feel like to have this welcoming spot full of caring people when isolation and fear are ever present.

Of course funding is always an issue for Life Goes On. The bus needs fuel and insurance. The house always needs food to share with the community. Sometimes the needs here on Dominica seem like a bottomless hole where my little help is mostly futile. Just a drop in the bucket.

But, of course, if my drop is added to your drop and all the other drops, soon the bucket begins to fill.

Looking into the face of suffering is so difficult. It is easier to turn away, of course. We all have plenty of personal suffering (and it is much easier to focus on my own pain, rather than embrace the suffering of someone like Mr. Rasta). Helping can be like walking the razor's edge between the care of the self and care of others. At one time, during my hospice years, I allowed the suffering of others to swallow me whole. I am older now, and less likely to completely throw myself on that razor. But nontheless, living in a world of suffering does call to me to do something when I can. No matter how inadequate and lame it may be.

livingdominica: maybe it is time to read Ram Dass's How Can I Help again...

I meet Mr. Rasta

Tina and Harry Alexander


I got a call from Tina Alexander yesterday. She is a key person with Lifeline Ministries and also runs Island Guests Realty. She helped us find the lovely Sherbet Cottage which was our rental until until the arrival of our container made it too small. Tina's house is always open and is a hub of many activities, including helping newcomers moving to Dominica find their way. In fact, I got to meet some very nice people who have recently moved to Dominica when I visited there yesterday.

Tina needed a hand with checking on a guy whose brother had called her. This young guy has a very large tumor on his neck which at times smells bad, so we went off to see if we could help. And I got to haul out all my nursing gear, which I enjoyed.

This Rasta guy lives in a very poor house with a spongy floor. It reminded me of my days as a hospice nurse in the poorest sections of my home town. I always worry when I visit folks with shaky houses that I will go through, since I am "a woman of substance" (ok, fat). But luckily I stayed on the sturdy bits and did not fall through. Mr. Rasta did indeed have a very large tumor about half the size of his head, which I dressed for him. He had recently changed the dressing, so the smell was not too bad, but he said he had missed his doctor's appointments because the bus drivers will not let him ride on the buses due to the odor.

This is where Tina's crew can really help. They run a bus through Life Goes On, the HIV/AIDS support organization which can take Mr. Rasta to his appointments. It is available to any person on the island who has difficulty with transportation due to a medical condition. Unfortunately, funding has become an issue for this project.

This fellow is really doing a pretty good job of caring for himself otherwise. But he does not have a lot of family or community support to assist him. Again, Tina's group has a great outreach and support network providing a safety net for those in need, plus a place to rest and be welcomed when they have to go town to see the doctor.

It felt kind of good to go do something a bit nursey after a couple of years of mostly sitting at a computer. And I was struck, once again, that Dominican poverty is much the same as US poverty, just with less "stuff". There are fewer discards and cast offs here. Poor is poor all over but there are fewer resources here, making Life Goes On a critically needed service.

livingdominica: if everyone who reads this blog would send Life Goes On a few dollars, euros or pounds, many people would be helped.