Another Real Estate Saga

This is another real estate story, so you can skip it if you are tired of listening to the endless moaning. I would certainly skip it if I could.

We had located a small piece of land up high, barely wide enough to support a cottage. We figured we might be able to afford it and a banana shack to live in. But hey, we thought, at least we would have something in case the issues with the government grind on endlessly. (We have noticed more and more lately that we are not getting younger.) We arranged to have a survey done of the land, because every inch of width mattered on such a narrow lot. Plus, the land had not been surveyed since the 1980s.

We figured we had solved our problems, and we began planning a modest little cottage to build on the land. Meanwhile, the survey was begun. I even had the audacity to begin to feel a little happy again. Foolish me. The gods are not done with us yet.

A little note about surveys on Dominica: points of survey on this island are frequently marked with beer bottles placed upside down in the earth, sticks, and trees. Yes, gentle readers, my future home was hanging on the possibility of finding a beer bottle. After two weeks of trying to find any point of the prior survey, the poor survey guy threw up his hands in despair. All the beer bottles were missing, and the trees were indicated in Kweyol names, which none of the five or six native Dominicans consulted could figure out. (Kweyol is the local linguistic amalgamation of French, English, African and Carib.)

In addition to the missing beer bottles and unknown trees, the neighbor to the South insisted the line was definitely further North. The Northern neighbor claims, "No, No, the line is further South." The narrow lot was shrinking before our eyes. The strong smell of endless boundary disputes began to hang in the air. I hope by now you have tears streaming down your face, I certainly did. I crawled back into bed, under the covers for a few days.

Did I mention that the Realtor on the island who showed us this property does not return our calls?

So, we are back to square one. Actually, it feels like the reset point is into the negative numbers. We have to crawl up in order to reach zero. The only glimmer of hope I see in this, is that one day I can write a book. I am thinking, "The Definitive Guide to Dominica Real Estate Nightmares".

livingdominica: I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...

Land Deal Gone Wrong Hell

A friend of mine wrote me an email asking about our current land situation. Here was my reply:

"We are slogging away at the land issues, but I think this last year is something out of Dante's Inferno. We are stuck in some Dominican land-deal-gone-wrong hell."

Forget the beggars on the streets asking for bread money, forget your recent terminal diagnosis. I am the one you should really pity. I continue to feel bereft and homeless. I bumped into a friend on the street in Roseau who commented that our landslide (which he can see from his house) keeps getting bigger. I should have a snappy response to that, but I don't. If you can suggest one I would be so pleased.

I could try this: "Oh really? And we thought it would start getting smaller!" or maybe "We thought the situation sucked so badly the whole thing would disappear into a black hole." Or maybe I will just act American and beat up anyone who mentions our plight. Of course Mr. Wizard is ever so much more evolved than I, so he would not participate in street violence. I'm kinda on my own with that plan. If you are up for a fight, come give me a hand. Maybe we'll start a street gang. You figure out the hand signs, I'll buy the spray paint.

I am indulging my blatant self pity re: the Dominican land-deal-gone-wrong level of hell, but you get the idea. Our current L.D.G.W.H. involves endless waiting, attorneys who do not return phone calls or keep appointments, and a depleting bank account as we pay rent on a house with a leaky roof and termites. Lucy definitely had a hand in this.

I can find one slight glimmer of hope. I think the Wiz and I are burning off a mountain of accumulated Karma, and will eventually emerge shining and pristine from beneath the pyre to live in splendor. Or we will end in utter madness. Depending on how long this all takes. (Wiz will probably get the splendor, as I descend into madness...)

livingdominica: ever striving to be the tragic figure from some maudlin old story. Can't you just hear the sobbing violins?

Wit's End Update

More slides, no stabilization started. We hear that the Cubans are now to look at it. I believe this will be the fourth group of foreign engineers to visit the landslide; including Canadian, French, Chinese, and now Cuban. It is a veritable United Nations up at our land. Are you familiar with the crass American anacronym SNAFU?

livingdominica: here is the more civilized version for our genteel Brit friends. Situation Normal All Fouled Up.

Instead Of

Apparently the government has officially declared Wit's End dead. No usable land is left from the original acreage. Maybe we should have a funeral for this dream spot. We could all sign the side of the shack that, amazingly, is still standing as the land slips away. We could play "Taps", or "Amazing Grace" on bagpipes. Or round up a Jing Ping band! If you would like to deliver the eulogy, let me know. In lieu of flowers, send school supplies to the Ministry of Education.

So we are once again looking for a property that might fit our needs. Maybe we will call a new piece of land "Instead Of". I am not sure "Wit's End II" would be prudent. We did see a couple of nice pieces today, but it is very hard for me to operate out of an adult, rational problem solving mindset at this time. Things have been too emotional, too difficult since Dean blew through. I am just sooo ready to have this drama behind us. Just gimme some dirt with a roof over it.

Of course there are lots of people who are in worse shape than we are. Up next to Wit's End, David and his Rasta neighbor are about to watch their houses go down the hill. I wish someone from the government could arrange to move those houses to safety. But the government is pedaling as fast as they can. There are so many needs to try to meet on this island right now.

livingdominica: ok, everyone join in the responsorial: "Dirt and a roof, dirt and a roof. All we need is dirt and a roof..."

Landslide at Wit's End

Our friend took this distant shot from his home in Posh Giraudel.


Here is the sad closeup. All of the land above the slides was ours. At least half of our 5 acres is gone. The slide at the left is below where our house was to be built. Notice the red roof? David has been in his house about a month and may lose it if the land is not quickly stabilized. His house may give you some idea of the massive size of the landslide. Notice there are also homes below. Each time it rains we fear more will slide and that these people will lose their homes.


Fortunately, the government here seems committed to doing the right thing. Bless them.

Will Pigs Fly at Wits End?

I believe a flying pig is the perfect logo for our farm, Wits End. If you have followed the saga of our land acquisition, you already understand. Pigs may well have to fly before we have a house. No expedient path for us! We always seem to choose the road less traveled...

So I found this cool weather vane to mount on a cupola. What do you think? That would count as "pigs flying", wouldn't it? And thus hurry our project along? If so, I am ordering the weather vane right now!!!

livingdominica: local pigs are not sprouting wings yet, but I am watching...

Islands Magazine

Islands Magazine interviewed Roger and I in their June 2007 issue. Check out the article "Best Islands to Live On"!

Planning to build in the Caribbean? Read this first...

Caribpro Magazine has a great article all expat house builders should commit to memory.
Better Building : Stop the Construction Carnival by James Post tells it like it is. I have heard enough construction nightmare stories to write another book. And do not discount the warning from Mr. Post about contractors who disappear with funds counting on the ineffectual legal system to prevent them suffering real consequences. This happened to a friend of ours.

Another friend found that the inflow to her septic tank ran uphill! Not a pretty picture, is it?

No wonder we want to build our own house.

livingdominica: yep, there are sharks in the construction waters who smell expat blood...